The standard narrative is a stereotypical storyline that transsexual people (transsexual women in particular) often report. You'll see and hear elements of the narrative on supportive news reports. Conversely less supportive news reports about a transsexual women will highlight the areas where her experience clashes with the narrative. Think before picture in army uniform.
The narrative isn't something that transsexual women own. It's imposed on us by the psycho-medical establishment, primarily as a filter to limit the number of transsexual women who were able to access treatment. It was created primarily to protect society from an onslaught of, in the sexologists and psychiatrists minds, men in dresses.
Some of the elements of the standard narrative:
- Rejecting your assigned sex at as early an age as possible - preferably as a toddler. Presenting at a gender clinic as early as possible, with extra points awarded for showing up before adulthood.
- Stereotypical feminine play and mannerisms as a kid. Making a bee-line for the dress ups, playing tea party with your dolls, make believe, barbie, pink.
- Rejecting "boys" activities such as football and rough play. Being bullied as a result.
- Being into boys, but in a very measured way. Importantly not being attracted to women, and not bisexual or asexual or slutty. Demure, feminine, liking cock but being shy about it.
- Physical femininity and attractiveness. Bonus points if your shrink can't believe you're in possession of a penis.
Of course transsexual women aren't generally stupid, or at least any more stupid than cis people. We are reasonably quick to cotton on to the rules of the game, and we "adjust" our stories accordingly. Everyone has all sorts of life experiences, so by being a little selective, fudging bits here and there, you can make your history fit what the listener wants to hear, and as a result get exactly what you want.
There's even an on-line test, called the COGIATI, that you can use to help hone your answers to the sort of bullshit stereotyping questions you're likely to hear. "Oh, I'm hopeless with navigating. I can never figure out which way up to hold the map!", and "I love stories!". Yeah, you get the gist.
By the time I had dealings with the industry in the nineties, things were getting rather nuanced. The shrinks had cottoned on to the idea that people were gaming their system, so you had to be really careful that you didn't overdo it. I found, for example, that deliberately wearing jeans to counselling sessions would get my shrink to go on about "modern women" quite nicely, and tell me I "looked like his daughter". Because that mattered. Of course I made sure to still occasionally wear a skirt, as I didn't want to push the boundaries too far.
In my experience, my level of femininity has varied a lot. It's the primary tool that I employ to ensure that I'm correctly gendered. Early on, as a young adult who was eminently springable, I wound up the gender cues to help people along. After a while on the gear, I found I could relax quite a bit without people misgendering me, and developed my own style and presentation. Getting past the gatekeepers was a huge help, as I no longer had anyone to satisfy but myself.
From everything I've read of late, it's not as bad as it used to be. Young transsexuals don't have quite as much reading and learning to do as we did in my time. Still, knowing what you're likely in for doesn't hurt.
I don't mean to pry, but I'd be interested to hear what issues you're having with your gp.
ReplyDeleteI hope all's ok.
Nothing too bad. My liver isn't what it once was. When I was young I used to take lots and lots of pills, which did me no good. I had a blood test the other week and was asked to come back in, and was expecting to be told I had to come off HRT. Turns out it's just high cholesterol, so I'm happy as that's totally unrelated and something I can get on top of by just taking care of myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased you're ok sweet's. I don't understand though, how or why that's compelled you to examine your "narrative"(?), regardless of that though, I think the truth about "narratives" is that anyone can make one up, and just about anyone (trans or "cis" can point to a certain amount of cross-gendered behaviour growing up.
DeleteThat's b "gender" (expression/behaviour) is NOT inate, it is learned by each of us testing social boundaries as we grow up.
So a person's "narrative" really doesn't make much difference to me (notice how mine isn't really mentioned on my blog anywhere), you're a girl right? And you've always known that haven't you?
That's all that should matter.
The potential for difficulty with getting what I need as a trans woman (HRT) had me examining my relationship with medicine, is all. I was prepared to go to alternative sources if I couldn't get them from the doctor.
ReplyDeleteI think it's not so simple as whether gender is innate or not. Gender expression is a consequence of gender identity. Gender identity is something that just is. My gender expression is something that I do to ensure people gender me correctly, so it's really a consequence of my identity. I have quite a bit of freedom of expression, as do all women, but I'm not going to do things that are exclusively masculine. That runs the risk of having people incorrectly gender me, and that would cause me quite a bit of distress.
Thing is I found the gender industry incredibly easy to navigate as a young adult. I present reasonably femininely, and my history (with the notable exception of having a couple of kids early on) fits the narrative reasonably well. I'm reasonably sure I was Bower's model transsexual there for a little while (he was the one that used to gush that I looked like his daughter).
But no. Narrative doesn't matter. Identity matters. Everything else flows from identity.
Ah! ok, I understand what you mean now. Although I haven't had any real trouble with doctors personally, having to seek medical help is one of my least favourite things, I don't like the degradation that usually goes along with it due to being TS, especially if they're unfamiliar with me and I have to disclose to them for the first time, the whole look of shock and: "i never would have guessed you're a man" thing makes me wish I was dead.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what method you use for your HRT, but I can give you info on and details of where to source implants (by Dr's prescription) if you aren't already on them, (they may be less strain on your liver, I don't know, something to discuss with your GP)
fair enough on your beliefs, personally (and this is just me, to each their own) I still don't like the idea of "gender identity" (as you and others word it).
I'm very much for and a believer in SEX identity (IE: that we are programmed to know how our body is supposed to work and what is supposed to be between our legs, and how to use it/it's purpose), but I believe almost everything else is learned behaviour.
I'm curious at what you mean, so I wonder if you can give me an example of something "exclusively" masculine? (aside from perhaps using a penis to have sex).
I did break in a new GP recently, in my little town. I was sick of having to do an overnight trip to Perth to get scripts. It turned out relatively painless. She's young, just out of med school, and has never had a transsexual patient before, so there was some education.
DeleteThinking of something exclusively male is difficult, as it depends on how secure I am. I think anything that breaks cis privilege and has people questioning my sex would do. Maybe wearing a suit and tie or something? Not that I ever would, and people would probably just think I was being weird anyway.
I confess I've never had a strong genital focus. For me the whole thing has been about ensuring people see me as female. I had breast augmentation early on and that made sure people always did. SRS was nice, as it allowed me more freedom in what I wore and did (cycling, swimming etc), but I didn't (and don't) see it as a defining thing.
To say "genital focused" I think misses the point.
DeleteOur body's sex is more than just it's genitalia, it is (as you exemplify) its secondary sex characteristics, it's biology, it's reproductive ability and more, and yes, like you, one of my primary goals was to be recived by others as female.
however, it does not matter what a female does, what she wears how she acts, if her physical body appears for others to be female (and as humans we're mostly pretty good at discerning a pearsons sex on sight) then she will be recieved as such.
Now those things, her expression and behaviour ("gender" the stuff impressed upon us that we learn and refine from birth) if they're inconsistent with what most people expect from her sex then that might give them cause to "discern" a little harder maybe! (as you suggest), but whilst behaviour (gender) may be used as a clue to a persons life, it is still a seperate issue to sex in my mind, and still not "inate".
We had some big storms here recently and some trees where blown over in our yard (one of which landed on and destroyed our shed) we had some remaining trees felled to eliminate future risk.
Seven trees in total! So between my boyfriend and myself we've had the chainsaw out and been cutting them up to use as firewood next winter.
I brought an axe, and in an effort to loose some weight and tone my upper body, decided I'd split the wood the old fashioned way, my dad taught me (as I was his son in his eyes) when I was growing up on our farm.
In two weeks I've developed quite a large pile in our back yard, i'd say 6-7 tonnes.
Most of our neighbours have noticed what I've been up too, some come over to talk or even stand and watch.
I don't live in the country any more, it's not really natural (around here) to see a girl chop firewood or use a chainsaw (and this is just one of many ways I don't conform to local ideas of "gender", I won't tell you want I do for work, or what our business is but let's say I ruffle a lot of people's feathers) but not once has anyone misgendered me.
To them, although (it and) I seem strange in some ways, they know I'm a country girl and my body doesn't give them enough reason to question my sex.
Perhaps they explain it to themselves (in some ways) as me being a little "butch" at times, but that does not effect my sex in their eyes.
this has been an educational read, including the comments! i am interested in hearing more, mostly because you sound like an awesome lady with quite the story to tell! :)
ReplyDeleteI had a parent tell me that when her child came out, (in the last month or so) that some of her friends were telling her that her child couldn't be TS since she hadn't had any issues as a small child. I told her how incorrect that was. That thought completely underestimates the ability of a person to assimilate for survival.
ReplyDeleteAnd it gets really old when people label people based on the work they do. Chainsaws? Axes? Seriously? I'm a cis woman who has always liked wearing work boots some days and stilettos other days. I'm proud as hell that I can pick up a sledge hammer, know exactly where to hit a car so that the metal bends, exposing the hinges in the door so I can cut the hinges off with a hydraulic tool and get to the person inside the crashed car. It's preposterous to me that somehow that defines my gender. And yet, male chefs are lauded. Oh geez-I'm about to go on a rant, so I'll divert. I admit, however, getting a chainsaw started still eludes me. I just can't seem to get that "snap" that's required in pulling the cord...but it still blows my mind that your wielding an ax is worthy of someone's attention, unless, hopefully, they're thinking, "Damn girl-you're good!!" I hope so. :)